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Aule_the_creators page
10688 hits
The Chaucer Pubbe Gagge
My Pages
Mrs. Barry, you must acquire the trick of ignoring those who do not like you. In my experience, those who do not like you fall into two categories: The stupid and the envious. The stupid will like you in five years time. The envious, never.
-The Earl of Rochester (The Libertine, 2004)
-The Earl of Rochester (The Libertine, 2004)
Three fellowes wenten into a pubbe,
and gleefully their hands did rubbe,
in expectation of revelry,
for 'twas the hour known as "happy".
Great bottels of wine did they quaff,
and had a really good laugh,
'til drunkenness held full dominion,
for 'twas two for the price of one.
Yet after wine and mead and sack,
man must have a massive snack.
Great pasties from Cornwall,
Scottish eggs - round, like a ball.
Great hams, quails, duck and geese,
they suck-ed the bones and drank the grease.
One fellowe stood all pale and wan,
for he was a vegetarian.
Yet man knoweth that gluttony,
stoketh the fire of lechery.
Upon three young wenches, round and sly
the fellowes cast on wanton eye.
One did approach, with drunken wink,
"Allo darlin' - fancy a drink?"
Soon they court them on their knee,
'twas like some grotesque puppetry.
Such was the lewdness and debauchery,
'twas like a sketch by Dick Emery,
(except the Dick Emery is not yet born,
so that comparison may not be drawn).
But then the fellowes began to pale,
for quail are not the friend of ale.
And in their bellies much confusion,
from their throats vile extrusion.
stinking, foul corruption,
came spewing forth from drooling lips.
The foetid stench did fill the pubbe,
'twas the very arse of Beelzebub.
Thrown they were from the "Whore and Trumpet",
in the street - no coin, no strumpet.
Homeward bound must quickly go
to that end, a donkey stole
Their hands all with vomit greased,
the donkey was not pleased,
and threw them into a ditch of shite.
They all agreed, "What a brilliant night!"
Bill Bailey-comedian
and gleefully their hands did rubbe,
in expectation of revelry,
for 'twas the hour known as "happy".
Great bottels of wine did they quaff,
and had a really good laugh,
'til drunkenness held full dominion,
for 'twas two for the price of one.
Yet after wine and mead and sack,
man must have a massive snack.
Great pasties from Cornwall,
Scottish eggs - round, like a ball.
Great hams, quails, duck and geese,
they suck-ed the bones and drank the grease.
One fellowe stood all pale and wan,
for he was a vegetarian.
Yet man knoweth that gluttony,
stoketh the fire of lechery.
Upon three young wenches, round and sly
the fellowes cast on wanton eye.
One did approach, with drunken wink,
"Allo darlin' - fancy a drink?"
Soon they court them on their knee,
'twas like some grotesque puppetry.
Such was the lewdness and debauchery,
'twas like a sketch by Dick Emery,
(except the Dick Emery is not yet born,
so that comparison may not be drawn).
But then the fellowes began to pale,
for quail are not the friend of ale.
And in their bellies much confusion,
from their throats vile extrusion.
stinking, foul corruption,
came spewing forth from drooling lips.
The foetid stench did fill the pubbe,
'twas the very arse of Beelzebub.
Thrown they were from the "Whore and Trumpet",
in the street - no coin, no strumpet.
Homeward bound must quickly go
to that end, a donkey stole
Their hands all with vomit greased,
the donkey was not pleased,
and threw them into a ditch of shite.
They all agreed, "What a brilliant night!"
Bill Bailey-comedian
No. of Votes: 250
Avg. Rating: 4.33 Ranked
Avg. Rating: 4.33 Ranked
Meter Started: Nov 5, 2006
the 21st hall of Khazad-dum, the dwarrowdelf.
